I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
