I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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