Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
