Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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