just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
