okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
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Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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