Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
