So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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