she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
