my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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