how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
