I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
if only i could text you this smell
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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