I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Randomize
