So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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