im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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