you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
