Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
