We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
