the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so let's talk penis.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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