It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
