I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
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