Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
