she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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