Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
