i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
