So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
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I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
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I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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