meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
