i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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