He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
