maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
