guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
