Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
