Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
