so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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