I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
