big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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