Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
this hospital has no fireball
be right there i have to get my cape
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
