I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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