Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
she woke up with a sticky ear
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
