First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
we're making bets on your personal life
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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