she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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