Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
