um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
