The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
