Apparently you make a good broom.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
