My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize