i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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