Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
