i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
