what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
