It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
