The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
