I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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