Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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