my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
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