Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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