first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
