guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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