You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
