May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
