I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
