Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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