Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
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